Thursday, January 10, 2008
I must admit that I admire Geraldine for speaking the truest of her mind and being able to do it effortlessly. K , I don't know, I am just assuming. And cheng, your hair is fine! seriously! The latest post, the one about not being able to have close friends. I feel the same too, but I couldn't put it in words. I do have close friends, but I do have commitment phobia too. It is hard, sometimes, to feel absolutely at ease with yourself. Well, I don't know what I am talking about either. What I know is that I am really a private person. Is it because I lack confidence? possibly. I constantly question this, what if you know this thing about me that you don't like or it seems absolutely unacceptable to you? Are you gonna dislike me? This disease of inferiority complex (extremely low self-esteem) hits anytime, anywhere. So I hide and hide and hide away in my little shell and finally realise that it is not the way to deal with it. So, I am also still exploring who I really am, what I stand for and the funny thing is, I used to think that who I want to be is who I am.
I could go on and on about it, but I guess it won't change anything. Just wanna say a sincere thank you to friends who stand by me, forgive me if I ever pushed you away (especially on days when I appear disinterested, just give me some time) and sorry if you find my constant bugging irritating, its just because you are too adorable. Yes, you!
Y11:40 pm
