is not a day for us to rest. I have work to do, so I ain't happy about it, except for the fact that I can stay home and do my work, if it means anything at all.

I am a slacker, and I feel guilty about it, well, sometimes.

I heard bad things from Bel today: Mr. A and Ms. Eelin were scolded because of my O's results. I don't exactly know what it was about but I don't think its fair! Not at all!

Firstly, SC work is not the thing that causes my results to be bad, if its considered bad in the first place. I admit that SC work does play a part but ITS MY OWN CHOICE TO BE COMMITTED AND TO TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY. So in any case, I am the only person to be blamed for my results (except maybe the stupid examiners), its not fair for them to be scolded. I will never regret what I have done in OHSC, ever. I think that OHSC helped me learn a lot, I matured a lot during my term in SC. It's valuable experience that Os results wouldn't have given me, and thus I am proud of what I have done. Learning through experience, that is what it is.

Secondly, the major contributor to my results (I won't say its poor, anyway) is my own playfulness and stupidity. Not stupid in terms of academics (well maybe abit) but as I have said here a zillion times, the inability to prioritize. Its sickening to keep repeating my mistakes here but well, that just proves that my O's results are the results of my own actions. I am regretful of the playful part, but nonetheless, I gained so much from this *poor* results of mine, I think its quite worth it. Ah I am crazy.

Anyway, I want to apologize to MR A and MS EELIN here (although I doubt you ll be reading this, since Bel said that Mr A doesn't know how to use links. haha). I am sorry for my disappointing results if you had any expectations of me. And I am truly sorry for the saikang you have to be burdened by because of me. And lastly, a big thank you for all that you have done for me, I am truly grateful for everything.

And to OH 2nd SC: I miss you guys! The 2nd SC is just so great! I remember attending our SC camp wondering are you guys really the people I was going to work with. Thank you people for the wonderful memories! I am sorry for being demanding and long-winded at times (I think its like most of the time) and sorry too for being incompetent, the juniors + grace + eve did a great job after the seniors left! So good that I feel paiseh mentioning. Thats why I do read the emails but I don't post ;P

Well whatever it is. I shall stop pondering over things that have happened and cannot be changed! There are definitely much more to look forward to! haha

Wow, time really flies. This is the end of the fourth month of m JC life. Well, I guess the initial excitement has died down, now I can't wait to get out of JC and ugly uniforms and inflexible schedule! (not that SA's uniform is literally ugly, but still, and the timetable is already pretty flexible compared to that of sec sch)

Well but for a person who had sec sch education for SIX years, you can't exactly blame me from wanting to break away! What more I have an attention span of like what... 3 minutes! I wanted to leave sec sch since sec3, amazingly I survived, partly coz I changed hostel. Then how now? This is only the fourth month, and only first in SA, I can't be bored THAT fast.

Oh no, I can't imagine what career I should be considering already, perhaps something a lil challenging, but not too difficult to put me off. Hmm I want to be a kindergarten teacher! No, I want to open my own kindergarten. haha. Im my hometown. I told my parents the same thing the last time I went home, and they... they snickered at my ambition :( Hey that is not very nice right? Like I really hope to teach children, except maybe I ll not be so willing to clean after them if they happen to do whatever they are supposed to do in the toilet in the classroom. Well I am sure someone else could do it! haha no la, I don't mind, really. How about a childcare centre? Yeah a combination of both. Ohh this is so fun.

But what if I decide to run away after running the place for what 3 minutes? I want to do broadcasting. K I know my face is definitely not pretty enough to go onto the national tv (no, i dont want to spoil Your appetite either) so I shall do radio broadcasting! I always find their work fascinating, communicating with people from every walk of life. Myself, for one, listen to the radio very often, its just like listening to your friend talk, even in an unfamiliar place, somehow you ll just be soothed by their voices. I don't know lar, that's what I think. But anyway, I find it really cool. And you get to choose what songs you want to play. Well, hopefully my voice doesn't sound too horrid over the radio. Ha!

How did I even end up blogging about all these rubbish when I desperately need to do my PI? While Jasmine is studying hard (has been since this morning) for her geog test, what have I been doing? Sleeping, reading novels, singing along with the songs, eating... Sounds like a holiday too good for me! Let just hope that I won't be screwed by my teachers tomorrow.

I have found my interest once again for singing, haha yeah only mandarin pop, coz their karaoke versions are readily available. Not like English songs all you see is not-so-pretty models in bikinis not on he beach but elsewhere. A park, or whatever? That's so pointless. Haha well I want to go K BOX again, its so addictive! This coming weekend!!!I am so excited! Going home and definitely out with my sister! Hee can't wait can't wait.

If I could exist solely on blogging like she does, I would want to. Not for anything, just because I am lazy! I am so lazy that sometimes I can't stand myself. Yes I am that lazy. I love everything but work. And off all things I love entertaining people, I want to see you happy in my presence. Haha no wonder the personality test states that my suitable profession is ----- clown. Suelin is SO right about me being a taitai. I have responsibility-phobia. Don't know that word for it, but if you leave me alone I think I ll rot faster. HAHAHA

I don't know why I am so high, perhaps thats the peace before the storm. Ohh I will be all depressed over my work later. Heck la!

Ohh so I went K box with suelin and her friend. Damn he has a good voice! I love guys who can sing!!! Yes, I love Gary Cao Ge! Not a pretty face but can sing. I believe that someone who know how to express him/herself with a song is someone who knows how to love. Well maybe not, but anyway, please let my future husband be someone who can sing well. Haha if he can't I wouldn't even marry him in the first place! ;P

Speaking of future husbands, Pei Li from my class did a weeny bit of palm reading for me, and I am SO SAD NOW! Coz she said I will divorce my husband next time! I am so sad la, my ambition is just to have a lovely complete family ;( Don't want to get divorced la! I was complaining to suelin yesterday, and she go so annoyed at me. Really! I don't want to get divorced! Who would want actually?

Haha I'm jst going to read up on palm reading, so I ll update you guys again.

There's four weeks to go before the holidays start! So long la. I just can't wait to drop everything and go home, and thats because I am lazy. I hate JC curriculum. Its so demanding and pointless :( I don't like to think, my brain always feels like jelly. I have lost the ability to think since I lost touch with the inner me. When am I ever going to find her back?

I just want to 找回最初的感动！

since I last blogged. Five days, and wow, what an achievement!

Life has pretty much been mundane, yes not as eventful as that special day (last post)

Well, I have been busy, not with school work, in fact im damn slack now.

I have been busy reading Taiwanese online novels (wang lu xiao shuo)
They are so close to the heart, so refreshing too.

And I just finished another shopaholic book! Its nice!

PI is still bugging me, its like never-ending.

Went back to oh on Friday, mixed feelings
But I was definitely impressed by the production! It was so much better than expected! Its cool!

Shall blog later ;)

Today was a BAD day.
I woke up @ 7!!! I don't know why I couldn't sleep well, then I couldn't get up :(
Went to see doctor to get an MC, but the doctor refused to give me,
coz its the 3rd time of the month,
she sucks can?? Just bloody hell gimme an MC, is it that difficult?
I told her I got diarrhoea, I did have it, but not the usual kind, I also don't know how to explain to her.
Its like I can eat normally but everything that comes out is _____ *shall spare you the agony of reading in case you are eating* or maybr its not called diarrhoea.
It's been going on for days n I thought I should see a doctor about it,
Then,
it turned out that she didn't believe me at all!!!
I was so hurt okay? She wasn't even listening to me!
whatever lar, she gave me a time chit to verify that I was in the clinic from that time to that time.
So, I went to school later. Which I don't mind really! I would've gone in the morning if I hadn't wake up late lor!
Then it turned out that ms wong wasn't in sch, n she told the class rep that she wants to talk to me tmr! I don't have a very good feeling about it, hey I am an ok student lor, that just makes me feel like I had been a bad bad student, or I have done something terribly wrong.

Attended GSC n GP. More hw for GSC, and I saw that I didn't do well for my compre, very sad :(
GP, it was ok. Wanted to leave early but I was too engaged in the topic, so I just stayed on to listen.
I think Mr Lim doesn't really like me :( But I also don't know why.

Then I rushed down to ICA to collect my passport and student pass.
The lady told me yesterday that they close at 4, and lessons ended at 330,
so I was praying hard that I could make it there in time.
I ran from the bus stop to ICA, or wanted to run,
and guess what, I fell down.
I freaking slipped and fell down in the pool of muddy water in front of so many people!!!
That was damned! The right side of my uniform was dirty, and so was my bag.
I was so embarrassed can? Like so so embarrassed.
This very nice lady who alighted form the same bus as me came to check if I was ok,
she kept asking me to be careful, gave me tissue paper to clean myself,
and even walked me to ICA.
I was so touched! Thanks to her, I didn't feel that awkward with the stained uniform and
bag. Heck care lar!
In the end I managed to collect my student pass, at 415pm! The lady who gave me wrong info, I hope someone teaches her a lesson.
Felt stupid!

Well I sleep so much lately I think I will die from excess sleeping soon!
And I still feel lethargic, well, from over-sleeping.
Hw hw hw is never ending, but somehow I don't dread doing them, but I need a head start damn it!

I read the blog of this girl who is graduating from uni, and my sister too, graduating this month.
Its so unfair can? I can't wait to stop studying! K its more like I can't wait to end a life in a hostel with a lot of restrictions! and be treated like a kid. I just can't wait to get on with uni then work. Not that I am not enjoying JC life.

Crap, my mood never improved since I started writing. I still feel so lethargic. Sigh I must be having another mood swing, it comes and go almost everyday. I am so sick of it already.


I can't wait for this weekend, meeting Bel and Aylwin on friday and SueLin on Saturday.

Oh when I was on the way to school, I was just thinking to myself. Why is work the main focus of our lives? Why do we spend so much time working everyday? Then I thought to myself, perhaps with no work there can be no life.

I hate having things to look forward to: this weekend, labour day, next weekend(going home!) Then I get so distracted.

Whatever la, this post is so meaningless and random. I am starting to think that I am an airhead, the big head of mine serves no purpose at all, and there's no depth in my thinking. This sucks la.

K I need to get down to doing homework, another letter to our dear mr lim. Ah!

Right la, i typed a lot then everything is gone. Whatever la :(

Now I have Monday Blues!!! :(

Personality tests, I love them!

Here's one result, I think its accurate, especially the stress and freedom part. And yes, I am egocentric!

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You seem to lack the energy of late to get up and go. Your objectives appear to be unattainable and no one seems to care. You feel lost, neglected and need some W.T.C. (Warm tender care).

You honestly believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but there seems to be no one around to give you the necessary reassurance and encouragement. You are egocentric. You believe that you are always 'right' - well maybe you are but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

Go ahead and do it here

is not that important a day,
but hahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

I PASSED MY ECONS TEST!!!!!!!!!!

K I passed by 0.5 mark out of 25 which is like 2% (oh hope my math didn't fail me)
K I know that is still pathetic, but... only less than 10 people passed out out of 510+ people who took the test, isn't it cool?? and the highest was only 17, 4 marks more only what! (oh shameless hZ!) I was the only person with a double digit in my class!!!

Sorry to my beloved classmates who are reading, I don't mean to boast or anything seriously! But after feeling depressed over the fear for failing my econs test, screwed up c lit, couldn't do freaking math (refer to previous postS) pls let me have a short moment of rejoice!!! hahaha

Well as I said, I am PMSing, now's the high time! and gosh, I din know I have THAT many depressing posts!

Well to add to my relief and happYness, I got 19/25 for my latest Econs essay!!! Happy Happy Happy! You know how much emotional struggle I had with writing econs essay? From staring blankly at the question not knowing how to start at all to not knowing what from the notes to put in to writing nonsensical essays to finally writing something that make sense. Well thats not the point, the point is, I was damned stressed over it! Like I cried over it time and again coz I was clueless what to do and everybody else's essay was like don't know how many pages long! But then again, this time I am just lucky that the scope was manageable and I was hitting right on the spot. I cannot be complacent because I don't know my fundamentals, I only know how to crap and RELATE TO THE REAL WORLD. haha still I am happy! At least I am making some progress. Its an A1 on the dot! So happy! for now....

I feel so childish and naive all over again. Well that's me, I am who I am :) quote Rosey.

I just made the coolest statement of the century during lunch in school today! Since Rosey that expert started us to talk about guys, haha it was a never-ending topic and gosh its definitely our favourite besides dollying up I think. Well so I thought I wanted to make it short and sweet. What's 'it'? My ideal guy lor! I said, 'The FACE must be HOT and the BODY must be CUTE!' Thats like the coolest statement on Earth can? Fine I am stupid, I don't process before I talk. No, I talk faster than I think! Haha he will look something like this:

Pardon me for bad-mooding. I am having PMS.

I am stuck in the midst of doing research research and more research.

GP project topic : humanities and the humanity

How do you freaking do a research on that???????

It's been over two weeks since it was given out, and the deadline is tomorrow, all we have now is definitions.

PI, haven't got the time to touch on that.

I seriously think I haven't got the level of thinking required for JC work, is it just me or is it the same for everyone?

Well I don't know. Just as I began to think that life isn't that bad after all, I failed my econs test (well only 10 out of 500+ people pass) and I screwed up my C lit test today (guilty conscience coz I didnt study) AND I couldn't even do the math qns which are like so NOT difficult. I think it has to do with my mood. I was so paranoid that I couldn't do anything.

About researching, all the articles I want to use have to be bought, its not readily available even when you are a member of the digital library. All I get is reviews reviews reviews. There's no available info on what I am doing at all. So how am I supposed to do it?

Friday is Sports Day! I just can't wait for a break from this torture of having to do this GP research which is very interesting but there's just no info, so what if its interesting?

I'd rather be a mugger and just absorb whatever is given to me :(

I miss everyone, its like I haven't met you all for SO long!!! ALL OF YOU!!!

Maybe I should just start doing my PI, at least I ll feel better ;)

That dose of chocolate isn't helping!

from home.
Yeah something cropped up at home, so I went back.
Didn't manage to attend third sc invest, I am so sad.
I felt detached enough, and now even more since I wasn't there for the big thing.

Anyway, sore eye, again.
For the second/third time this year already!
I hope I ll be well enough to go to school tomorrow, can't afford to miss anything.

Shoutout to Bel: I am fine! Thank you so much. But we really need to meet up and catch up a bit hor :) after this Thursday, I will be freer! Don't be sad about stepping down from SC, you have more to look forward to ---> O levels!

Szeching: Ha told me about the guitar recital too. Jealous jealous jealous! I haven't met you guys since the last time I crashed AC, about three weeks ago already! so long!!! Miss you so much la! and of course your notes too :P

I am not sleepy but my eye is causing me troubles. and I have running nose because of it. Maybe I should just sleep early and hope that it will be better tomorrow.

I still owe the same amount of work from last week: scv, dml, compre, pi and more: GSC compre. This sucks! And the due date for everything is Tuesday. Maybe I should just go n sleep now since I can't do work.

Hope you all are in good shape, physically and mentally and emotionally. I am so out-of-shape I refuse to look at myself in the mirror.

K enough of crap. Till next time.

I am supposed to be studying Econs now, since there is a test tomorrow.
My first full essay test in my life.
I am worried about it but I can't concentrate! ahhh.
And my PI, I had to scrape my idea coz its too hard to do.
So I need to research on a new thing, and the due date is next Thursday.
Ah, there are just times you are so stuck and unproductive, but there are so many deadlines, so you feel damn screwed.
That's exactly how I feel now.

This is the fourth week of the second term, there's six more to go.
I can't hang on, I must keep going!
Before I know it, common test will be here.
Sheesh, I sort of enjoy it but I totally hate PW and researching.

My official photos in school uniform are out, I look horrid. Will be stuck with it for two years :(

NAPFA: I lost all my muscle strength, I can't do inclined pull-ups anymore! And standing broad jump, I forgot how to jump! The only thing I can still do well is sit-and-reach. Oh no how???

I need a break!!! I need a break!!! I need a break!!!

CCA starts in July, but I am not sure if I want to join interact yet. I think I ll be able to get into exco, but is it really what I want?

I am sleepy, there is morning run tomorrow. But I don't want to screw up my test! :-( I need to study!!!!

....

I want to blog, but I am so bloody tired I can't think properly.
I haven't even done my GP homework, tonnes of them, coz I am too tired.
I am going to sleep early, at like half an hour from now, for the first time.

A brand new day awaits me :)

I can never get sick of blogging I think.
Coz I have got no one to talk to in my room, my roommates and I, we don't have many common topics.
And i know that you readers understand me better than they do.
Anyway, I only have my econs essays done.
And I have so much to blog about: my class, the long weekend that is about to pass in minutes time.
Well maybe thinking of these things will take my mind of my crazy thoughts.
The internet is driving me nuts! connect, disconnect, connect, disconnect, connect, disconnect, connect, disconnect, connect, disconnect, connect, disconnect.
Poor people in my msn contact, please bear with it.

Pretty pictures:

(pictures could not be uploaded) :(

The pictures take forever! so annoyed. Can I be a little bimbo here please? Oh my gosh oh my gosh!

I want to do this thing from here, I want an ideal bf, now!!!

My ideal Boyfriend:

Nono, wrong. Its

8 Things of an ideal lover: SAME LAR!!!

1. Me first!!! Me first!!! Me before everything!!!
Haha. I'm the Queen of the World what! No, actually there must be a balance, coz I am a very selfish person, I will think of myself only, if he/she (am I actually exploring the possibilities??) puts me first. Then he/she might as well be a servant. Well, the point is, he must instill some sense in me for check and balance (sounds so un-PAP huh?) But then, sometimes I can be very sensible too. So, how? Never mind, move on.

2. Physical attraction
Yes, I am sorry but I am vain! Not necessarily handsome and such but at least must be appealing to me right? But studies show that you will only be interested in a person if there's physical attraction before everything, so its a given lar. He must be able to stun me with every move he makes, every time we date. By the way, babes with hot bods are very sexy......

3. Sense of humour
Yeah he must understand and laugh at my joke!!! And must be able to make me laugh too. Anyway I get jokes pretty fast, including sick ones thanks to The Gang in ACJC (they can be more sick than you could imagine!). So this should/shouldn't be a problem. I am not so sure. Lame jokes are fun sometimes but.... Well it all boils down to the person telling the joke. I always find Ha's jokes funny :D

4. Loves to sing
Yes! We must have the same hobbies, or at least hobby. Singing is one thing I enjoy most, he must too! I demand! haha and he must know the songs I sing, which is mainly C Pop. Come on, Kbox doesn't have many other choices. Why do I like guys who can sing? Because I think guys who are musically inclined are very appealing. They have the other side, the softer side that is seasoned with exposure to music (oh no this is so crap! but you egt what I mean la). Oh his singing must be good enough to melt my heart, I have heard a few, like those live performers and this guy:

I slept at 3, woke up at 11.
Then I slept at 330, woke up at 6.
Am I a pig or what.
I have not touched a single piece of my homework.
One full Economics essay awaits me.
One GP comprehension awaits me.
My PW PI awaits me.
So what am I doing here?
But what defines me as who I am?
I'm rereading My sister's keeper.
Its a book that can wreck you up.
You just realize that life is so futile
Everything can be so meaningful yet meaningless.
Its death that gives life its meaning.
So who am I when I am stripped of the title of a scholar?
Its been there for too long now.
Something that I tell everybody
but its really nothing to be proud of
Ironically.
I need to break free from this self-destructive misery.
Its too much to bear.

Bored. Unsettled mind. There's so much going through my mind now.

Go read www.matrixisland.blogspot.com and figure out for yourself why I am so troubled. I've experienced it myself, the appeal letter thingy. Once is enough, I can't wait to get away. This is not a place for me. 良心不安

There s thunder and lightning, looks like its going to rain. I hope it does.

Homework ah homework.

This song best describes my mood and wish now: (but I am not despo!)

当爱在靠近 刘若英

真的想寂寞的时候有个伴
日子再忙也有人一起吃早餐
虽然这种想法明明就是太简单
只想有人在一起不管明天在哪里
爱从不容许人三心两意
遇见浑然天成的交集错过多可惜
如果我是真的决定付出我的心
能不能有人告诉他别让我伤心
每一次当爱再靠近感觉他紧紧地抱住你
每一次当爱再靠近感觉得他在清楚地告诉你
他骚动你的心遮住你的眼睛
又不让你知道去哪里(却不让你知道去哪里)
每一次当爱在靠近都好像在等你要怎么回应
天地都安静唯一不能的是你的决定
天地都安静唯一不安的是你的决定
每一次当爱再靠近感觉像他一定要说服你

Void.

Yeah feeling absolutely depressed, Partly coz my sister is home and I am not. I miss her, and everyone else. Partly coz I have a lot of work to catch up with. Partly coz I am fat and ugly and stupid and I look damn young that even to watch NC16 movie I have to be checked. Damnit! Bad mood-ing.

I was typing a post about past two days, but I gave up, will continue tomorrow when I have the mood to.

I decorated the top of my laptop, coz I can't stand seeing those scratches. They remind me that I haven't been taking good care of it, I feel guilty. Now that they're covered up, I don't see them and not more damages will be done.

I miss a decent grounded bed, not one that you have to climb up to. I miss sticking my body to the wall when I sleep. I miss talking to roommate across the room while lai4 chuang2-ing on my bed. I miss singing aloud in the room and not having to worry about disturbing others.

I hate growing up. I think I am damn childish and immature. I don't think, talk and behave like my age. I don't know what is appropriate. I freaking can't help looking clumsy and stupid when I do stuff, especially when I eat. I miss the time when you can put everything aside and just enjoy yourself, and not have your homework and responsibility constantly at the back of your mind. I miss doing all the wrong things and just laugh about it, not doing the wrong things and feel absurd about not behaving your age. I hate taking every step, spilling every word with great cautiousness, its so tiring. But thats the only way to make myself a lil more disciplined (well at least to myself it appears so)

Life has so many complications. what is it that I truly want out of it? Achievements? Or just to enjoy every moment of it? I lost it, I lost the drive. I know what I should want two years down the road. But is it what I want? It is, partly. But its damn bloody hard for me, for reasons you won't be interested in. The physical and mental tiredness I can bear with, but not the constant emotional struggle. I hate going to bed at night, all drained and exhausted and teary wondering why I am doing what I am doing. Its so bloody tiring. There's this big burden on my shoulders that cannot be alleviated. Its from within. Doing everything makes me feel guilty. Its like everything is wrong and nothing is right anymore. And its no longer as easy and talking to Bel and SL about it. I feel worse after, coz they have their own worries and obligations. Thank you my blog, at least you are just there for me.

If I could think less, it would've been less painful. But now its so painful, feels so raw. And I just have to keep going and stop looking behind.

Now as I think about it right. Guilt is pretty much a very big component of my life. I feel guilty about every bloody single thing that has not gone well: activities that I planned, activities that I participated in, bad relationships, could-have-been achievements, results, things that I did, things that I said. Every freaking little thing. Even SL is surprised at this when I talked to her about it. I hate looking at the past, no matter how much I enjoyed, because I know it could've been better, there must be some way to make it better, and I didn't do accordingly. I lost touch with my primary school friends, coz I had bad records in primary school. I only barely keep in touch with my Msia sec school friends coz I am afraid to see them and be judged about how much better or worse I have become. I don't contact my SC friends and classmate, coz I don't know if they actually liked me at all, I mean, I really don't matter. In Red Cross, I don't have the face to meet my seniors because I think I had been so bad, they didn't like me. In Oldham, I think I hadn't been good enough too. In ACJC, I can't help but think that I am a burden to the gang, although we seemed to be having fun. In SA, don't know yet. You get the picture? Ya thats what I mean, I know that it is stupid.

Ah are my parents to be blamed for this? Their daughter is actually struggling, emotionally. Painful. No they are innocent. Its just me, being silly. Its used to be easy to dismiss those thoughts till now, everything just spills over at the end of the day, and I breakdown. The no of times I broke down this year must've been more than the total in the past four years.

Oh God, please give me strength, see me through this. I felt comforted by the movie yesterday, but it was so fleeting, it only lasted for a very short while. Please come and talk to me. Tell me that everything will be fine.

I haven't had my dinner!!!! So hungry! I shall drink milk and eat cereal. I feel much better now, thank you for reading. And don't mind what I said, if you really want, tell me you love me :D

SINCERELY PLEASE!

oh no I actually broke down while typing. Again. What an ugly sight.

Sorry I forgot to update yesterday. I was busy with my GSC homework which had been overdue by one week and one day. I needed to get it out of my way. And tonight, there's GP essay.

Okay, besides GSC homework, actually there was something else I did last night, that is, watching Pride & Prejudice! It was my second time watching the show, and it's such a great show! I love the Language of the old days, the costumes, the furnitures, the whole setting! I wished I lived in that era, but then again I would probably have been the fattest girl around if I had lived then. Then I wouldn't have been able to fit into those clothes, or I would have looked like the largest walking pumpkin of the century, better not. Anyway, the storyline was simple, but very well-displayed. I am definitely going to read the book! Is a person's social status that important as compared to his character and values? Some people think it is, I cannot agree with them, probably coz I would be Cinderella-to-be then. Did I just spill that I aspire to be a taitai? oops. Anyway I don't think so, compared to rich arrogant snobbish pigs, I would rather have a down-to-earth guy, but forget it, he won't want me.

The much anticipated long weekend is finally coming! But I have homework to do and tests to study for, so I will probably have to spend a fair amount of time on them. But still, its holiday! Well actually I quite enjoy attending school, its fun! I was just thinking to myself, our studies and careers are considered the main focus of our lives, as it takes up most of our time, if we don't even enjoy it, isn't it such a torture? Doing things that you hate is a sin! So we must all learn to like what we do :D

Anyway, I attended a scholars welcome tea this afternoon. It was so different from AC's, people are not as warm, they are more straight to the business, although I am sure they are equally caring (as claimed by the VP). Well the good news is: WE ARE FREE TO GO HOME DURING WEEKENDS, as long as it doesn't interfere with school curriculum time and CCA. Oh my gosh, I was so worried that they will be as strict as SC! (which I had a lot of trouble with!) Now I am so thrilled, I can go home as freely as I like! Whooaaaa, isn't it good news??? After that my mood was so lightened, I didn't feel lethargic anymore. So I became very talkative, and kept talking to Loan till she was quite sick of me I think, coz she was tired. Sorry Loan!!!

Well on our way back we dropped by the AWWA Family Service Centre to ask about volunteering. I really really want to do tutoring! It will be so much fun! We obtained some form and I have it filled already. I am so excited about it! Love kids love kids love kids love kids!

Ohh I want to talk about my class, but I don't have time here. Need to bathe and rush GP homework. Later if not another time! I want to watch Love Actually again!!!

Well, the other half anyway.

Yesterday the internet network in my area was down for the whole day. So I was more miserable than ever. When I found out in the afternoon that web pages couldn't load, I thought it was a problem on my laptop, as my laptop kena virus through MSN the day before. You people better be careful too! If you receive a file from your friend titled my childhood photos, please do not accept it. Its virus. Well luckily my computer didn't get affected. Because the internet was down and I was so affected by it, I could do any work for the whole afternoon. K its more like I was unwilling to. I read a book, and managed to finished it within yesterday. Then at night, I was so frustrated and distracted, I decided to walk over to McD (about 10 minutes from my hostel) to access the internet there. Well it turned out that the internet was down as well, so I thought the problem was with my laptop. Called Zro to gert help and stuff, until finally when I was back in the room, Jasmine said that the internet had been down the whole day.

*&^$###%##@& damn right. I can die without internet!!! and blogging is my life too! how to live without it?

Well in watched The Notebook last night. And I cried I cried I cried I cried I cried. The storyline was simple and kinda typical, but the way the story was presented is just WONDERFUL! I love the show to bits. I want a love life like that, to be crazy about each other for the rest of my life, and to follow my heart. Well its damn hard. How many couples you see around you have that sort of relationship. My parents, for example, I don't feel that there's love between them at all. I feel that its just duty, or maybe its just their way of expressing it? that we don't understand?

It's something for all of us to think about.

Shall I buy this? So tempted!

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I want to travel,
to learn about the world
自己给自己设限，困住了。
怎么办？
I want to travel,
to learn about me...

her

huizyi玉
female/perempuan/女
hitting the big 2 soon
MY-ian on another land,
where will I go next?

destined

backpack in my country

passion and determination

phone and camera

lose those fats

两只手的温度

speak

take off

♥link
♥link
♥link
♥link
♥link

reminisce

September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008

credits

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