Friday, March 02, 2007
Sometimes life really isn't as bad as it seems. We have the tendency to have our problems and unhappiness manifested, and whine and complain about everything around. I'm not sure about you, but I am like that. I get carried away with complaining, then I find that there's something incomplete in my life, which is the peace of mind.
I was just typing this post yesterday, complaining about how out-of-place I feel, about my insecurity and fear, and sense of worthlessness, then I visited some people's blog. People who look so contented with their lives. People who are so confident. People who have are welcomed everywhere. People who make you feel so small, so insignificant. There are quite a few people like this in my life, and I feel really really intimidated by them. So I read their blogs, and it was like a wake up call for me. I realised that they are just the same as me, they too have their own sets of worries. Yes, life is not a bed of roses for them either. So then I deleted the whole chunk of stuff I typed. There's no need to torment you with my problems since you have your own too. I'm SO considerate right?! :D
Anyway, today was quite a tough day for me. First thing in the morning something happened, or shall I put it this way, I didn't do something that I was supposed to do to make something happen. So it didn't happen. Well anyway, I was depressed for most of the day. I have no idea why I am so deeply affected by it. It scares me, like hell. I don't want to be emotionally tortured like this, but I guess its too late now. Well, there was no CLL lesson so I ponned math as well. I had every intention of going but there was a 3 hours break between that and my previous tutorial, and I absolutely dislike my math teacher. So I came back early to rest. Then we went for Arts Night. It was amazing. AC people are so talented. Had a great time, but my mood went down again when the show ended. I must not have any expectations in the future, then I won't be sad, instead I'll be happy coz then every good thing becomes a surprise for me.
Ha and I concluded that I am actually quite a shy person, much to my surprise. Maybe that's the new thing I learned about myself since I came to JC. Whether or not its a good thing I am not sure. But so far I have not been happy with it. K I promised I won't whine so I am not going to start now.
Love is patient, love is kind
Love perseveres, love endure
If sadness is measured by the amount of tears,
then maybe I am not that sad after all.
Yesterday there was the Founder's Day Service. Although many of us were expected to pon, I didn't. I am glad I didn't coz I think its really meaningful. After attending the service, I feel even more attached to the school, I don't know what am I to do if I can't get in at JAE. Well I am leaving everything to Him, He has already decided so worrying certainly isn't much help. Well I still hope very much that I will stay in AC.
I have been so emotional these few days, and I hate it. By the way, I think many people are hooked to Hanakimi!!! I, for one, am waiting patiently for the last episode. Yes its so nice! I thought it was stupid at first when my sister was ga-ga over it, but now I am too. Its entertaining, and parts of it are meaningful.
This post is really random, I'm sorry if you are bored. Too bad my blog is like that, you can go read other people's blogs that are much more interesting if you want.
There's a vacuum in our hearts only God can fill
There's a vacuum in our hearts only our parents can fill
There's a vacuum in my heart only you can fill
and its void now.
I have decided that I will quit basketball. In fact I sort of quited already, by telling my friends about it :P well I do feel bad about quitting, but I think that since I do not enjoy it, its no point staying in the CCA. I don't want to dread going for CCA, and I don't see myself as a close team player together with them. Maybe I am more of a loner. Anyway I will go for shooting after JAE ;D hopefully I can get into the team.
Y11:56 pm
