Saturday, January 13, 2007
Nicky Chan, take care and be strong!!! All the best in all that you do :)Its hard to say goodbye. Especially to see someone off, its harder than yourself leaving.
Anyway, today was a LONG day. Actually nowadays everyday seems long to me. Let me put it this way, its like I attended the S2U meeting in the afternoon but its feels like yesterday or maybe two days ago. You get what I mean? yup THAT ONE.
Its 5 minutes to 12, I have to hurry! The internet connection gets cut off at 12 :(
Yeah so I l just talk about what happened today- I went on an emotional roller coaster.
Woke up at 1130, k I know thats really late. Went to OH for S2U meeting, btw thats the CIP project thing I involved myself in since end of last year. I reached at around 130, was a bit lost about it since they had already started the meeting. Then within 5minutes the meeting was over. I was stunned, and I was angry. Hey they made me come all the way from Clementi to attend what, 5 minutes of meeting. Thats so nice of them. Anyway the CIP project is more or less stagnant, we haven't done much so far and its already Jan.Well hopefully more could be achieved so that our past effort does not go to waste. We sat around to talk for a while more then Bel, Andrew and I left for Vivo City.
The bus ride to Vivo City was rather long. And I was famished, didn't have breakfast or lunch. Yup yup Vivo City is big and nice but we didn't have time to explore, we went straight to the food and beverage area and finally settled fo Carl's Junior. I tell you, I feel really guilty eating it but its like once in a while so its okay I guess. Ate and drank a lot, in fact that was my only meal in the day.
We spent quite a long time at Carl's, something like an hour plus, talking about random stuff. It feels REALLY REALLY AWESOME to be out with Bel again, since eons. We can talk about anything and everything. And just as I thought we are drifting fast apart, no we are not, I still feel as close to her as ever. Thank Bel for being so wonderful! And yes I know you do read :) And Andrew too, I am kinda used to being out with you already. Haha. since we always hang out. Well as I said, so much to the point that people mistook us as a couple. Haha that's really interesting. Andrew Tham? No I don't think so -00-
Then we had to rush off to the airport, so there was practically no time for us to look around the shop and browse for nice stuff. This sucks, its torturous! I always love going to new shopping malls, I love the feeling that what you want might just be in the next store, but oh well it is just an illusion, coz that never happens :( Oh well, we human beings live on hopes, when hope is gone, what's left isn't meaningful anymore.
Took mrt to Changi and we were early, walked around, talked cock. We browsed though almost every single item in Watsons while waiting, which is kinda lame coz there were many nicer shops to go to but we chose Watsons. Haha actually both Bel and I like Watsons a lot, maybe its because it makes us feel healthy :D Finally they came, they had dinner at Burger King while we just sat around and talked, wrote on the card for Nicky. Well this is when Bel and I started to get really cranky and crazy. Why? I guess its because we didn't know what was the right feeling we should have/we didn't dare to face it. Whatever it is, although I was laughing and everything, part of me wasn't enjoying myself at all.
Finally Nicky came. Nothing much. We left the sweet couple to themselves and waited at the side. Its really a mixed feeling. On one hand I was really sad that he was leaving, on the hand I was asking myself why am I so sad when I am not exactly that close to him. I haven't found the answer. He went off and Cindy started crying. Its hard to see him go, although he ll be back again in few months time, coz time passes, things change, probably the next time I see him I won't even recognise him. Like Bel said, its hard to see someone off coz everyone around you remains the same but that one person is no longer there, leaving the empty space to be filled in.
We waited at the departure hall till he was out of sight. Then we left. Cindy sobbed and sobbed. It hurt to see her cry. But I would too if I were her. A lot of things came across my mind while we were waiting. about studying overseas and not being able to see my family often. about wanting to be someone that is not loved so that noone will be hurt when I go, wherever I go. about learning to accept this rule of life and learning to let go. And damn. Its hard. I felt like crying, but I held in my tears. coz I know if I cry it wouldn't be for Nicky, but more for all that is going on in my mind.
Which reminds me of the movie we watched at MUTS(movie under the stars) in school, except that realli there were no stars but spotlights coz it was raining so we had it in the LT. The show Click talks about setting right priorities, treasuring life and whatever else you should treasure which includes of course family and loved ones. The show is really touching. Its one of those that will make some people scream stupid while the rest bring home a lil something. A good show for reflection that makes me think about whether I should further my studies overseas, will blog about it next time. I was totally absorbed in the show and unaware of my surrounding. And of course, I cried. Side track a bit, then we went to Holland V for supper, my first time there after 4 years!!! Ate at Swensens, nothing much really except that Cheryl is really sweet for offering to send me home. Thanks girl!
Back to today. Went to city hall to hang out just a little longer before heading back to hostel. We had ice-cream for supper at Cafe Cartel. After visiting Cartel for the 3rd time, I must say that the food there really isn't nice. I ordered an ice-cream that is supposed to have SOME oreo in it, but it turned out that half the glass was filled with oreo biscuit. Since OREO is not exactly my favourite, I didn't quite enjoy eating my ice-cream although it lifted my mood a bit. Andrew had some very sour drink, tropical something, which I kinda like. And Bel had chocolate ice-cream too. Its amazing how chocolate can make you happy!
Then came back to hostel by MRT. I don't like taking mrt along :( Especially when taking long rides. Cabbed back coz I was late, reached just in time for roll call, then here I am, blogging. Its past twelve so technically that was what happened yesterday -00- will be going to BRMC for service tomorrow. Hopefully I can wake up in time :)
'The past we inherit,
the present we hold,
the future we create.
But for those who hope, work and play,
the best is yet to be...'
Y11:35 pm
